Getting Away

Tomorrow, we are getting away for a few days as lots of things have happened to us in these past few weeks. There have been times when I did want to blog but when I got there, I had totally forgot what I had wanted to write about. Talk about dodgy memory!!!! So now whilst I have 5 minutes of peace and quiet I have decided to seize the moment!!!
   My son finshed secondary school 2 weeks ago and I am kind of glad but also kind of sad! As this thursday comming is my sons 16th Birthday. I can remember the joy I had carrying him and helping him become the person he has become now. But it has all happened so quickly, quicker than a blink of an eye at times. I have been with him through his happy and sad times. But I have always been there for him and I will always be. I want him to do well and acheive all he wants to do in his life. 
   But on the other flip of the coin my dad is having some tests done on his prostrate. I am not worried, neither is my father. But my mum has taken this very hard and of course and is not very happy about these tests. But what will be will be.
   So hence the last minute break to the lake district. We have all been at each others throats and this at times has been almost unberable.

Catching up

This is really a catch up post as I havent wrote anything in a month!!! i have just been so busy pondering and doing things, that I havent had a lot of time to blog. Naughty old me!!!
   But here goes a lot has really happened, some good, some bad and some sad. The good news is that i am starting to cut back on my money as that was getting way out of control again. And I was getting pretty sick of having no damn money all the time. I have embraced the second hand life fully and I am really enjoying using someone elses once loved and used goods. My garden is comming on quite nicely now and I am starting to appricate it more and more. I just want it to stop raining so I can get out there and do some gardening.
   But some sad and bad news now. I did have a good friend, one I felt a kinship with and I thought we were getting on, but sadly it wasnt to be. It has got that bad that she decided to get the police on to me and try to get me charged with harissment, which is a very serious accusation. But sadly wouldnt stand up in court. As it is the other way round, this lady decided to call my house at all hours tellling me that she was going to kill herself and that her partner had kicked her out and could she stay with my family.
     This went on for a few months and then one day last week I got a very rude voicemail message about some rubbish that she didnt want to be my friend and that it wouldnt work out. I aint a kid and I felt as if I was being spoken to like one. So I sent her a txt asking her why, my son also did as he was worried about me. then I thought whats the point, this lady clearly doesnt want any help to get better, so I sent a text say I would be returning the picture and I would like my items back. This according to the police is harrissment!!!
   But I have moved on and I have decided that the friends I have are the most important people in the world and I will always have my family. My son finished school a couple of weeks ago. I can remember taking him for his first day at nursery and all he did was cry!!! So now he is off to college and to rugby college as he loves doing the sport. All he needs now is a proper job so he can start supporting himself instead of sponging off me!!!
   It was Pauls birthday on Tuesday, he got an i pad which isnt bad!!! I wish it could br my birthday comming up as my phone is starting to die!!!
  And poor Suzie has kennel cough so she is feeling a tad sorry for herself at the moment bless her!!! But a lot has happened and I do promise to try and keep it more regular.

Phil Spencer

 This happened last week but I only got round to it today. See I am such a naughty little blogger, but at least I am still keeping it up in a manner.  Me and my Best Friend were in the village on our way for coffee last week, when who did I spy in our pretty little village Mr Philip Spencer of Location, Location, Location doing a bit of filming. But of course what did I do instead of going up and asking for his autograph I burst into a fit of the giggles! I always do this when I am near someone pretty famous, I just think it is one of those knee jerk reactions when I meey people I dont know I just stand there like a giggling fool.
   It gave my best friend a good old chuckle to say the least. But when we had finished coffee they were still filming in the village so we had to walk past them again! And then it happened yet again. They must of thought I was on something as the looks they gave me well were erm pretty interesting. But it gave my best friend a pretty good laugh.
   I think it is a coping mechanism with me, its like when someone asks me directions I tell them I dont live in the area as I am petrified that I would send them the wrong way! Or even worse try to grab me!  My husband always looks at me as if I am a strange fish when I do this and I suppose I am in a way, I just dont like people in my space and I always freak out!
  My dad had his supercar experience that everyone bought him for his birthday last Saturday and everyone enjoyed it, even if it was a lot of waiting around and I ended up entertaining kids as they were getting bored with it all. The cars were really nice and I mean really nice, I think my dad might sell his caravan and buy an astin Martin! No only kidding he couldnt do that. But he did look like a child in a candy store and loved driving all of them. He had this rosy little glow when he was done and I think he was as high as a kite with it all. Ahh bless him. I love seeing my dad happy!!! He makes me smile all the time!!!

May Day My day!!!

Me and DS1 went to the may day fare and I soon ended up on my own!!!! He had found some of his friends he hangs around with and decided to go with them, which was fine by me. I was quite happy for him to wander off and to have some fun as he isnt a baby anymore and I want to show him that I can trust him when he is out with his friends.
  So I wandered amongst the stalls on my own, missed out on a few bits and peices, I guess I just wasnt quick enough at the end of the day. Plus I aint into grabbing stuff off people that is so not me. I have lost stuff by putting it down to think about it. So hence now I keep a tight hold of it. But I was a tad disapointed as I was hoping for more bargains, but I was happy with my lot and I couldnt grumble on what I got. But the prices were quite high and I heard a few people complain. Sometimes I think people just want stuff for nothing, but other times you can get bargains. I got a pair of Nike trainers on my way home today for a steal. The manager thought they were worn out!!! But they were brand new with hardly any wear on them. I kept looking at them and then I decided to go with it and I am glad I did. It was the style of trainer I think put her off them. But never mind!!!!
   I cant understand why they charge sky high prices for well crap basically and uber cheap prices for good quality items. I am just baffled by it all. I know they have outlay etc..... But dont they realise that this is going to put people off going in there. If they kept their prices low they wouldnt have any problems about hitting targets!!! And they wouldnt have to do bargain rails neither and stock would pass through a lot quicker and I mean a lot quicker!!!! Since I have discovered the joy of the charity shop etc......... I dont really like buying new. Why should I give some fat cat a big bonus for the shite they sell why should I? Plus I would rather benefit home charities as they need all the help they can get. Plus I have a conscence not like the MD of Primark and the other big retailers who let kids work in crap conditions for crap pay. It boils my blood. Sorry rant over.

Getting there

Well I am slowly getting there. I still dont feel right and I am still low on Iron. Whatever this bug was it really did kick my ass!!! I want to sleep on a day, but not on a night. Boy I am screwed!! My head is upside down. I am all over the place. I cannot focus on anything at the moment!!!
   I just want to be on my own all the time, I dont like people disturbing me. God what on earth am I turning into the grinch!!!
   The weather isnt helping, its more like winter than spring!! I had to get my woolies out and start to wear them again its that cold. I want to see spring lambs in the fields dancing in the sunlight and lots and lots of dafs! But mother nature has decided that the weather must stay cold for now.
  I just fancy a doona day and stay under it all day. But when you have a family to care for it is easier said than done. I love looking after them it gives me purpose and it makes me smile and it makes me proud to be a mother and a wife. As that is one of life's great achievements being a parent. And how anyone could ever hurt a child is beyond me. They were children once.
   I am looking forward to the long weekend as it is bankholiday monday and were we live we have a may day fair which I love going to as it supports our local hospice. Which my very special second mother passed away and they did a brilliant job of looking after her. So I always give if I can, buy supporting the charity shops and local events. As they are always looking for money. Yes their items may priced on the high side, but to me every single penny is worth it. So always support your local hospice as one day you might need their help or care.

back to it!!!

Well I have decided to break my bit of quiet and a well earned rest and to get back to blogging!!!! I have not had much time to myself and I can only write when I am alone. I cant do with disruption it disturbs my thought pattern.
     Well Paul decided he would like to go to hospital as well a couple of weeks ago with an asthma attack. But he was really bad, he couldnt stand up, walk or talk. So he got whisked away. So we had a tense time with that. But has he packed the smokes in has he nickers!!! I have had asthma for a long time and I had to give up as I didnt have a choice as I would have been pushing up dasies by now!!! Infact I packed in the booze as well! And I feel a better person for it!!! But sadly my weight has rocketed up and I know I need to diet and I want to, I tried the gym and I just didnt enjoy it one little bit! So I am going to have to walk away from the candy jar and the pepsi bottle and find nice tasting lower fat alternatives!
   We also contracted a bug during the holidays which wasnt very nice at all. Infact I still cannot eat properly now and that was 2 weeks ago. I have never felt so ill in my entire life. I felt like death warmed up and I dont wish to repeat it anytime in the near future! So there you go, the house is still like a madhouse!!!!

End Of the Month

Well its another end of another month. Am I sad to see it go? You bet I am. It has been one of the most stressful months so far and I am glad to see the back of it. What with Jack in Hospital, work hours getting less and less and suffering from really bad bouts of depression. I am really glad to say goodbye to this month.
     Why on earth do we get months like this? Some months run as smooth as silk and others just make you want to scream. I havent been able to blog as much as I feel at times I have had nothing much to say, even though the cup has been billowing over the edge!
   But sometimes I feel like I just want to be on my own and I dont want to do a damn thing, which is very hard for me at times. The urge to move is getting stronger and stronger as I hate it even more here. My dream house has come up for sale but it is nearly half a million! So I have to dream. I would love to go and have a look at it, but it is up with one of those posh estate agents, so not a cat in hells chance. Its shape sings to me and it is one three floors, four bedrooms a huge craft/art/camera/sewing room for me. But it will never ever happen. So I will have to wonder and ponder who is the lucky person who will get to live in you ohh wonderous house.
    But yes I am glad to see the back of this month and I dont think I will be the only member of the house to feel the same!

Reflection

 I havent been on a lot as of late my life has been well kind of upside down. I am only getting back to my usual rountines now. Its funny how one major upset can set the whole apple cart flying!!!!  But I am getting there.
   Yes there has been times when I could scream at everyone around me as I feel like they are not listening to me or I feel that way. I am going through a pretty depressing stage of my life at the moment. I have suffered from depression since I was a teenager and I even tried to take my own life once as I didnt want to be part of such an evil and nasty world. I have been told by the doctor that it is more on the bi-polar scale which yes scares the crap out of me. As some days I can be as high as a kite and other days I just want it all to end.  It is not a nice condition to have. I tend to call it that as illness makes it sound more, well I dont want to think about it. Yes I am medication and I have been told I will be on it for the rest of my natural life. But I have still become a mother, a wife, a lover and an employee for a company I dearly love. I have the best boss in the world who understands what it is like for me to live in the shadow of mental health. My husband does, but I have to admit I do drive him to the edge at times and I know we have come very close to spliting up as my moods often take control of my life. I wish I could say piss off leave me alone today. Or get out of my head.

     But I am one of the lucky ones who can live in society and do what I want despite what people think of me!!!!
  But I am glad to say Jack is getting better and we have most of the appoitments through I just hope they are all not in vien and we can get some answers as to why he isnt breathing correctly on a night and I still do the checks on him! I am so scared that he could die in his sleep. So I do these checks and I gently put my hand to his mouth so I can feel his breath, It is so warm and soft on my skin I wish I could stay there forever and watch him. But I cant. So now is the sitting and waiting game.

Emergency Ward Ten

  Well there has been a stressful time in the young household this past week. We had the youngest DS in hospital over the weekend. He had an asthma attack which in turn resulted in a hospitial admission and a four night stay in hospital. But it isnt over yet!!!!  When he was asleep his oxygen levels were dangeriously low. So were are having to keep a close eye on him when he is asleep. He is crushing his windpipe when he is sleeping. So he is having to have more tests to do and a sleep test to see what happens when he is sleeping.
   So we have had a pretty stressful few days. And hopefully it will start to settle down now. But it has been a few tense days and I just want it all to settle back down now!! If I see another kids ward I think I will run out screaming!!!! But the nursing staff were great and were even  on our side in the end. As Jack was promised to get home after a test, but it didnt happen!!! So after a tense stand off with the doctor it was decided that Jack could go home on day release.

Nothing much to say

 I havent been on my blog as much as well, there isnt very much to be said!!!! Yes I am still ill, and now my driver has caught it!!! So she was very poorly yesterday, if I could have hugged her, I would have done!!!!  All very quiet on the domestic front as well. Nothing much exciting has been happening here. Appart from there was a drugs raid around the corner and they found stuff!!!!
   I wish people wouldnt do drugs it really isnt cool and it damages people around you!!!! Since the raid these people have been keeping a really low profile which is good for us! I just wish they would move away from here and I dont think that I am alone on this one.
    I am going to a gig on saturday with my DS as I need a night out!!!!! Its only a local band, but they are soooo good and they are are good bunch of lads.  I would like them to go far and I mean far!!! Northern music doesnt really get heard as  much as it should, we have a lot of good bands up in theNorth East!!!

Getting better

 Well it looks like I am on the mend at long last!!! I am still full of cold and a bit miserable at times. But I am starting to get there at long last! All I wish is that if kids are sick, why do parents insist on sending them to school. It bugs the life out of me. See if that child stayed off i wouldnt have had the cold!!! I think parents should be fined and I mean fined.
   But I only have a little rant today. I have found out that one of my favourite bands is getting dissed big style and I am not  very happy about this all. See the band is nickelback and they come from Canada and for some unkown reason some people have real beef with them! And I dont know why as they are far more annoying bands out there in the world. I have seen them and I love them! But some people insist on dissing them and boy they love to do it big style. Why cant they just turn the radio off or move away? Is it too easy? Or are they really dumb? Answers on a postcard pls?

Stay At Home Day

  Today I had a stay at home day. I still felt a little ropey after yesterday but decided that I would like to stay in today and have a tidy round and make some bits and peices which I have done and I am very proud of myself.  I didnt want to stay in as I wanted some air. But I decided what the hell go ahead and relax.
   I made my mums mothers day pictures and cards, so I am glad they are done and not just an empty canvas anymore. They are not quite done, but i am sure they will look great when they are done. I love making things and then giving them as gifts as my mum loves the idea. My sister doesnt, but its the thought that counts right?
   I am doing an easy tea tonight as I cannot be bothered to cook anything. Sometimes I really for my boys, But I just feel so ropey and tired. So hence this post is short and sweet today!!!

Tooth Out

Well this morning I had my tooth out and boy am I in pain now. All I want to do is curl up in bed and go to sleep. Well I was asleep untill I woke with blood dripping down my face like a zombie!!!! So I panicked and called my husband who is now at work. And he told me to call the dentist but I have decided against this!!! but the bleeding has subsided yay!!!
   We lost another fish yesterday, so Paul went back to the pet shop dead fish in had and decided tp get them all changed. But he did get a refund and some more fish so he is a happy bunny!!!
  I found a super cheap charity shop near the pet shop and I got loads of items for £7.10!!!!! My haul was as follows...... 2 tops, 1 olivtine mixer, 2 necklaces, a nice big bow and a 70'S cook book. I was well over the moon. I want to go back, I so badly do!!!! But I gave up as the pain got to me and I am now £46 out of pocket!!!!  So I am going to have to resort to desperate measures and not go into the village for a wee while. Mind you I have to make 2 mothers day pictures for my mum, I did the plant but the pictures are next on my to do list. And I still have to buy a birthday present yet and make cards!!!

Moan time

Okay, okay, I never ever have a moan, but today something has made me into a moany pants and an angry one at that!!!! I am a member of a forum called 'Money Saving Expert'. It normally is a good forum it is, I have found many, many, many bargains to ease me with everday living and it sometimes gives good advice.
  But something really got a bee in my bonnet today, you see I have been watching a series called superscrimpers, which yes at times has been a bit cheesy, but most of the time the advice is very good and I have been able to apply it to everyday life. But on this forum all they have done is rip it to peices and I mean rip it to peices. If they were lions feeding on a poor innocent victim who didnt stand a chance.
   All they have done is call people and I mean call and riddicule people, if those people read that forum they would be really offended!!! They dont even deserve it!!! these people wail on as if they are frugal pros. But I know for a fact some of them are lying. Even have gone as far to insuly people on how they are!!! Like people who have shaved heads!!! THANK YOU I HAVE SHAVED HAIR!!!
  So I have really had to put pen to paper if you like!!! So sorry if you are a perfect frugalista {LIAR}. I only know of a few out there who live a life these so called people would to live Amanda Soule Blake is one! So go away and do something important!!

tooth Ache

I have really suffered this weekend I have. I have had the worlds worst toothache. I could cry at times with the pain, but boy have I been brave, I really have. It all started or so I thought, started on Wednesday when I ate a hard sweetie and broke my wisdom tooth. Erm nope it wasnt that. Annoying but no! It turns out I have a wobbly tooth with a nasty infection hiding underneath. See I only realised it was this one this morning when I wobbled it jokingly in the charity shop. But I didnt think it was wobbly untill the assistant manager noticed what it was doing!!!!!
    So this tooth has caught me on my blindside grrr..... And I am going to be £46 lighter thanks to this baby!!! And I brush my teeth honest guv I do!!! Infact I am quite clincial about it. Giving them a jolly good scrub to make sure that I get all the bits out!!!
 So I am not a happy little bunny today. I had a poor months pay as well and well it has nearly all gone!!!  I darent tell DH as he will kill me. Looks like I am going to have to find a full time job. As this is getting ridiclous and I have nothing at all for a rainy day and I mean nothing. So if a major dental job comes along I have nothing!!!!

Mad March Hairs!!!

 Well I met my mum yesterday and well she hates my hair cut. Infact according to her, she thinks I have lost it!!!! Hence the title mad march hairs!!! She wanted to know if the hairdresser was drunk? But I have always wanted a haircut like this!!! Nice long fringe and uber short shaved sides and a nice bit on top!!!! My dream cut. But no she says I look stupid and I should stop taking the stupid pills! What a nice mum I have!!!
     I do love her though this is why I take everything with wee pinches of salt. And dont swallow it!!!
 But I know she only has my best interests at heart. Bless my lovely mum! I mean I have body piercings and I dress kinda strange, but I have always been like that so I dont even think about what I do anymore!!!!
  My youngest son went to the hospital yesterday for 3 hours we were stuck there and it was like mental torture. Mind you I did end up people watching which was nice. I feel so sorry for some of the people that go in and out of that place. If I ended up like some of those people I would lose the will to live. But in a way I really do admire these people and how they take on everyday living. My FIL is one person I love and admire. He has COPD, he lives on oxygen, he has angina and other problems, but he gets on with life and living. Even if we did lose a very special MIL 5 years to cancer. He has always been the strong one.
  So is my husband he has had a fair amount of industrial accidents to the point were he is disabled now and still works!!! I just want to hug them all. The only affect it has had on us, is that we live seperate lives. But we still love each other, he just doesnt want to hurt us anymore. But I respect that and yes I do miss the cuddles and kisses and the moral support.

Hur Cut!

Yupp I got my hair cut today, at a nice new hairdressers with a banging opening offer!!! £10 for a cut, blow and a head massage. I was in seventh heaven!!!! And she knew how I wanted my hair! See What it is I have been trying to get an indie cut for ages now, well my first hairdresser, she did try bless her little cotton socks she really did. But well I dont think she knew what I was on about. And she is younger [a lot!!!] younger than me. So I thought she might have a slight clue but erm nope. But when I went to this new hairdressers today, even if I did have to stand out and wait in the cold for her as I  only found out that the salon opened at 11am not earlier. I explained what I wanted and she went through a consultation with me, which is something new!
   After the dreamy head massage and the lush smelling shampoo, she got on with it and all I can say wow, I am totally in love with this cut!!! Nice fringe, perfect top and sides. I wanted to hug her and say thank you prefect cut!!!! But I didnt want to embariss her by doing that. So I gave her a tip which was all the shiny pennies in my wee purse, which only came to a pound. But when I go back in 6 weeks she will get a bigger and I mean bigger tip!!!
   And the sun is now shining as well, so I feel even more happier today. Plus my parcel from approved foods came and it was full of goodies just for the family. So My day is ending up perfect!!!!
 Ohh I did order this thing for removing facial hair called well I dunno its in japanese!!!! Lets just say the "amazing springy hair removal device" And I cant wait to use it it only caost £2.99 and people on amazon rave about it, so I have decided to have a go and see what it does!!!

They Have Moved Me Again

  I went to do my morning run as usual yesterday morning, but to my shock horror I had been moved to another school!!!!! No warning, no would you like to move just a basic, you will move!!!! This kinda annoyed me as I didnt know anything about the kids I was carrying or who my driver would be nothing!!!! So I got more and more upset with myself and Kept saying to myself over and over I will have to say no more I really must!!!!  The run went fine yesterday afternoon, but come this morning, it was a total nightmare!!! Got them to school, did know were they had to go or what class they should be in. I kept asking staff and well I may as well have asked a wall. The same goes for my colleagues or so called. And the mucky looks I got was disgusting. So I got out of there as quick as I could in a state, rang my boss shouted at him and told him I did not appricate being treat like a moron!! He told me to calm down and he was sorry as there was some vital infomation he had meant to tell me yesterday!!! Gee Thanks boss. So I am still upset, I am sat at home licking my wounds. And yes he is doing to get another call tonight telling him, I am not doing it for the rest of the week!
  It was like organised madness on a grand scale!!! I could have just have walked out and not gone back after today. But I did a rant to my Dh and my BFFS. And I feel semi human yet again!!!
   thrifting was good today. I got a pair of hardly worn MBTS for £4.49. A nice glass water pitcher I had my eye on reduced to 60p, a pudding bowl to store my lovely fruit for 99p. A long cardi for 3.99 and a chiense style Liz Clareborne jacket for £4.49. Oh and some little ornaments from lands end for 1.50 each!!! But I cannot wait as car boot season is comming upon us and I am in it for the bargains!!!!! I am starting to save up loose change so I can use it at a car boot. Which is a good tip, instead of the trader going I dont have any change and looking rather glum about it. I can go here you go my good man the right money just for you!!!!! And then sometimes I might get a bit extra knocked off!!! ROLL ON THE CARBOOT SEASON!!!!!

Ohh for Saturday

After being poorly for the week, I ended up in my local high street. Well it was to meet my mum and to do some charity shop shopping!!!! How I have dreamed of this day lol, but there was one thing holding me back and that was............................NO MONEY!!!!!!! AGGGGGGGGH. So I had to ask my darling husband to give me some so I could go out to the shops with my mum.
   So with the serious lack off cash, I totled in to town. And I had to buy a £15.00 bottle of car shampoo!!!! For my brothers birthday on Tuesday. SO that took my funds down to an all time low. So I had to choose my choices carefully and I mean CAREFULLY!!!!!!!!!!! So I went to my usual choices A couple of cardis, a couple of tops and some lovely bits of china. But no spotty jug!!!! I did pick up a lovely plain jug and a tankard with love is........... Do you remember love is...................? Those cute and cheeky boy and girl Characters with lovely sayings underneath. So  for one pound how could I leave it there?
  Mum isnt very happy with my charity shop pickings. But I told her to have totally different tastes to her and I mean different!!!! But she didnt she stop me. I got a granny style cardi, but it looks more like a jacket which I am going to wear with jeans or a dress. And that only cost me a pound. So I am a very happy bunny and I even bought the family some bits!!! So a good day was had by all!!!!! Did you find anything exciting today???

Sicky Vicky

  Well I havent had a good past couple of days. Tummy ache to die for and were on earth does all that sick come from? Ideas anyone? I feel like I want to die and I mean I want to die, but of course work wont leave me alone. Can you still work? Nope, but in todays ecconomy we have to work.
    All I want is to sleep but it even seems that the husband is in on the act!!! Grr all I want is to be left alone and to rest for the day, but ohh no I have to call work at lunch and let them  know what is happening. I dont think so, they can call me. I will be asleep in th land of zzzzzzz.
   So I have been pretty quiet this week doing the odd thing here and the odd thing there, but of course nothing major arty wise, even though I have wanted to, but I did buy a craft book and a pair of stork sissors which I have been lusting after for ages!!!! All I am waiting for my magic packets of washi tape and I will be forever in craft land ohh joy to the joys of washi tape!!!!! I love the stuff have never ever had enough ideas as to what to do with the stuff!!!! But now all I dream of is bunting and what I could do with those little strings of joy!!!!! Have you ever used washi tape, if so what did you make with it?? I would love to know!!!